The Spencer Home

 Everyone that I've talked to about their infertility journey has a different story.  They have different reasons, different ways they went about it, and different outcomes.  One thing that worked for someone did not work for others.  People are full of advice on what would have helped me during my journey.  "Just stop trying and relax."  "Well so-and-so  got pregnant right after they stopped trying/adopted."  "You should take this wonder drug or natural supplement.  It helped my sister's cousin's next door neighbor's best friend!"  I'm lucky that those around me meant well and absolutely did not say anything to purposefully hurt my feelings.  Of that I am grateful.  We all want to help, but sometimes we aren't sure how to go about doing that.  Hence the purpose of this post.  I want give a personal point of view of my journey so we can be more aware of those is similar situations.    Then maybe we can help...

Looking forward to a new year!  

 So many families have so many different Christmas traditions.  I remember growing up, I always went to the Nutcracker with one or both of my parents.  It always made me feel so special to have that one night where I was the star.  I always dressed up in a Christmas dress and did my hair cute.   When Roger was growing up, he had special traditions as well such as an advent candle, getting a special ornament to put on the tree each year, and getting gifts from the 'Christmas Elf' before Christmas.  His family also put a lot of their focus on baking and cooking the best Christmas foods you can imagine.  I'm always in aw when I go to family functions on his side of the family to see the most amazing pies, baked goods, and savory dinners.   As we have started our own family, we wanted to make our own traditions that were special to just us.  It also changes year to year.  When we started our family, we were determined to have a liv...

 This post is mostly for other adoptive parents who are starting their adoption family or those unfamiliar with the relationship one can have with birth families.  That being said, let it be known that I am not a professional.  I do not know all circumstances for others and what it is like for them.  I only know what I've researched and what I've experienced. I made a post on facebook in 2016: "I was watching Kung Fu Panda 3 yesterday and there was one part that really struck home to me. Po (a Panda who can do Kung fu) had two dads, one adoptive (the goose) and his birth father (a panda). His adoptive father was first afraid that his birth father would 'take away' his son. He comes to the realization that having another father for Po didn't take Po away from him, but gave Po more... I never want to limit the love my son has in his life." I'm sure there are parents out there that are confident in their skills as a parent, that they know exactly how t...

  How adoptive parents decide to do an open adoption is a personal one.  Each situation is different as well as each relationship.  When you choose an open adoption, you are essentially choosing to have a relationship with a new family.  When I started our adoption journey, I was a scared new mother.  We did years of fertility treatments and 3 rounds of IVF until we eventually had to come to the conclusion that building a family by our own means just wasn't going to happen.  Closing that chapter and opening a new book was a difficult transition.  I feel that it changed me for the better though.   When we eventually got Jackson, I was still scared.  I was scared someone would come take him from me.  Perhaps it was too many true crime shows and podcasts that I listened to (still do) or my insecurity.  But we started off with meeting at my parent's house (which was in the middle of our locations) and meeting in public.  We ha...

  As one of the five grandmas of the Spencer family (I’m Roger’s mom), I can attest to the incredible love and support that abounds in Roger and Michelle’s home, and as these sweet little ones, Jackson, Kennedy and Madi have come into our lives, they have each brought an overwhelming love with them. I am so very grateful for the birth families, especially the birth moms for the tremendous courage and love for their children. They wanted what was best for these precious ones and placing them in the Spencer’s loving home has not only brought the children into our lives, but the birth families as well. They are all part of our family now.  I have known Michelle for 14 years and if I could use one word to describe her it would be, FUN! She has the ability to make an ordinary day more enjoyable and regular boring routine things more exciting. She has brought this gift into her life as a mother and her home is filled with joy. She loves her children dearly and would do anything...

  A letter from the Birth mother of the girls Michelle and Roger came into my life very suddenly and unexpectedly but we bonded right away. I was pregnant with my firstborn; I was scared and I had no idea what was involved in the adoption world. But they were kind, and patient and encouraged us to meet with other couples instead of just making a decision right away. Aside from all of the sweet and common things to say about an adoptive couple, like how loving and supportive they are (which is 10000% true) Michelle and Roger are ridiculously loud and funny, open minded and genuine! As is Jackson! Life isn’t perfect, it isn’t for anyone. The transparency they give me makes me feel secure in my decision. I placed my second daughter without question just a little while later because I knew in my heart that’s where she was meant to be.  Knowing what’s going on not only in my girls’ lives, but in theirs as well makes me feel like they care more about well-being and comfort over a fa...

 Not to brag or anything, but we have the most amazing birth families you could ask for.  They are kind, are amazing at communicating, and want to be involved.  I thought I would take a moment to introduce them and the relationship we have with them.   When we were contacted for Jackson, we were emailed by Jackson's birth Grandmother.  Jackson's birthmom Abby was several months along and the family they had been communicating with had backed out.  A. was upset about the whole process so her mom, Debbie, stepped in to help out.  We met at an Olive Garden and we sat and talked.  We got to know each other and our expectations of each other.  We both wanted an open adoption and we talked about what that meant for both of us. Open adoption can mean many different things for different people.  For some, it's just knowing who the birth family is and a few pictures sent every so often.  For others, it is much more involved.  Our v...

The Spencer Family Roger (38) and Michelle (37) Kennedy (4), Jackson (8), and Madison (3)     Our family began in August 2010.  Roger and I had known each other for a whopping 5 months before we decided to tie the knot.  We were both going to school and working full time.  We wasted no time trying to start our family.  Roger went to school for robotics and electrical technology and Michelle was studying Deaf Culture and Music Education.   During the first few years of their marriage, Roger worked in jobs involving electronics and computer programming while I worked with children with special needs.     After 5 years of trying to grow our family through IVF, IUI's, and every other way available to us, we dipped our toe into the amazing world of adoption.  We were contacted by Jackson's birth family in March 2015 and three weeks later, he was here!  He was perfect in every way and we formed a bond with our new family.  After...

          I am perhaps the favorite parent of the two, as Jackson likes to say, "Dad is the most fun, but Mom is the most safe", and to the girls I am best as, "The big daddy who plays pretend and gives good hugs".  As an Oregon native I was raised on a Boysen berry farm 45 minutes west of Portland and about an hour away from any where important. My roots come from being the only boy in a family as the middle brother between two very outgoing sisters, and, most importantly, I grew up in the shadow of my father, who was a Native American archeologist/anthropologist who was very smart, and my mother who was the "stay home and raise the kids" professional and home maker extraordinaire. The five of us learned to love a simpler living living on property away from town, and from this I was given the foundation of a good "down to earth" kind of up bringing that has served me well all my life and that I reflect back on often and with happiness.   ...

    At my very core, I am a mom.  It has been what I have always wanted since I was a child and throughout life.  I grew up in Utah and focused on cello, choir, friends and joined every club that time would allow.  I am outgoing and very social.  I sometimes warn my new friends that I'm 'aggressively friendly.'  I love talking to people and getting to know their life stories.  I went to various colleges in Utah and took breaks in my educational journey to teach English in China, Nanny for families in Utah, New Jersey, and Virginia, and serve a mission in Chicago (Spanish).  I've taught cello lessons on and off since I was 16.  Now I teach in my home Cello, violin, and piano.  I went to college to study Music education then switched over to Deaf Culture.  I eventually graduated with a degree in Interdisciplinary studies (Which is what happens when you have a million credits in many different subjects that do not correlate...

Jackson Age 8      Jackson has to be the best kid in the world.  He is 8 years old and has more energy than anyone I've ever met.  He is caring, kind, and crazy.  Something that he loves more than anything is to make people laugh.  He just lights up when he has found that his silly antics has made someone giggle.  He loves Pikachu....like seriously.  LOVES Pikachu.  Everything he has had the opportunity to name...it's name is Pikachu.  His favorite color is yellow...because Pikachu.  His room is decorated in Pikachu's.  Mind you...not Pokemon. Just Pikachu.  He does love Pokemon, but only Pikachu matters.  He has an impressive impression of Pikachu that you only get to see if you are lucky.       Jackson has high functioning Autism.  He is in a mainstream classroom and does very well with just a bit of help.   Some activities don't come naturally to him as it does others.  ...